An orphan usually wants to have parents. However, a girl like me who has a mother sometimes hopes her mother will disappear.

My mother desires to control my every action is beyond description. If she continues to treat me like this, I will go crazy.

She believes that I am a clever girl, so she blames my failure to get promoted to Form 6 to laziness.

She always reminds me to study hard and ignore all other unimportant things.

I can do nothing but obey her because she is my mum.

However, I think her demands are unfair and she has become increasingly hard to please, especially these last few weeks. She doesn't let me chat on the phone and whenever a boy calls me, she becomes very alert and questions me about the boy and asks why he called. It is like I am in jail ---- no talking, no going out and no freedom to make friends.

It sounds strange to my friends when I tell them about it.

They cannot believe how dictatorial my mum is.

Although my mum disciplines me because she cares, I cannot live without freedom.

Sometimes when I face her, I keep silent. But no matter how well I do, she compares me with my elder sister who started university this year.

I am a person who cannot live without friends. I love talking, enjoy sharing with people and love to bring happiness to people around me. However, I also cannot live without my mum because she is my mother.

Therefore, I cannot give up either. I want to do things I like. I cannot give up either my friends or my mum.

To a 17-year-old girl, freedom is an important thing, but her mother is equally important. I cannot live without play; it will make me crazy, but it is also impossible to defy my mother to gain freedom.

I just want you to know how difficult it is for me to strike a balance between freedom and being a good girl so I can try and please my mother, even though it is impossible.

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