Poem 18
The Cats' Protection League - Roger McGough

Midnight. A knock at the door.
Open it? Better Had.
Three Heavy cats, mean and bad.

They offer protection. I ask, ‘ What for?’
The Boss-cat snarls, ‘You know the score.
Listen man and listen good

If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood,
Pay your dues or the toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall.
Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
A smelly minefield awaits you at dawn.’
These guys meant business without a doubt

Three cans of tuna, I handed them out.
They then disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.